In Home

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So it has been a week I returned to India. Everything seems fine, except the house which even after a week's cleaning still looks dirty to me. I can stand that because I am having other important things on my mind as of now.
I have fallen behind a lot of things in the college and I am now not at all enthusiastic of filling in. It is like I am drained and I am draining even more.
On the other hand, my sister is pregnant again, which means she will be visiting every week or so for her check-ups at our doc. This is getting rather tiresome as I have to fix her the appointment and be with her all the time! But I have to, there is no choice.
My exams are not yet over (as I missed them in March) so I have to drag myself through those books whilst all my friends are enjoying their summer.
With all these things in my mind, I am all filled with an odd feeling that you get when you feel remorse and jealous..but I really don't know why I am suffering these feelings. I am waiting for the exams to get over so that I can jump-start things. Until then I think I will have to suffer these stupid feelings. Though I have no clue how exams and my mixed feelings are related.
My love life is heading nowhere..I am really scared where I will become an involuntary celibate. I know that there is a lot of confusion in this area of my life, but that doesn't buy me reasons to be so uninterested.
On the other hand, my love for food has increased tremendously in last few weeks. I am eating anything that is edible and inedible. I am putting on weight but that's not an issue as I know how to get off as well. The issue is I am cooking most of the day...But whatever,
I am happy...I am home!

of lately

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This is how I am feeling about life.............

Check it Out!

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When things couldn't get worse, they do!

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It was almost 6 months that I had slept a full night sleep...and thankfully thats not due to my insomnia...a hell lot of things that kept me awake...starting from my dad's heart failure incidents to family problems at sis...my own studies..mom's mood-swings...and when I finally decided to come to Oman to re-settle things and take off some days, perk up a bit. Everything went well, until I came and had nice long two days blaming the tight schedule for my more-than-usual weakness.
On the third day, I was in Badr-Al-Sama diagnosed with Hepatitis and dehydrated to bone. A week in there and the doc could not do anything reduce my jaundice so I was shifted to Al Khoud branch...another week and a lot of restrictions on diet and IV therapy. I was isolated, the nurses and I don't seem to carry well..no visits..it almost felt like an asylum. 
Finally after 2 weeks of spanking, they thought I had enough and let me go home yesterday. And all two weeks are going to cost a long series of delays in my life...I just hope thing will on smoother from now on.

What lil fuckstick I was...

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I really don't know from where to start but I feel the whole life is toppled over....and frankly I always feel the same....but for some reason it is now stronger.
Right now, I am in Muscat almost like an undercover cop telling no one that I am here may be coz I myself do not know what I am doing here especially when I have finals from this month end...Whatever!
Anyway...it took me two days to recover from all that shit traveling....I really wanted to fuck that pilot coz he kept changing altitudes as if it was some toy aeroplane without ever telling to keep the seat belts....Aah! Fuck him to hell! After 3 hrs of that crap...I thought some anatomical changes happened in me...coz my head was in my chest and my heart in my balls...

So,  I finally landed in this sun kissed smooched country with a bunch of books, clothes...and sick bags...just in case!

Now reading: A brief history of time

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And let me tell you, it is not at all brief yet I simply can't put down the book!

It has been nearly 3 weeks since I started this book and I am left awed by every page of it.